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Overground Online

Millions Trapped in 'Loveless Marriages'

A recent study of husbands and wives has revealed that millions of Britons are trapped in ‘loveless marriages’, writes Rena Dipti Annobil

According to the report commissioned by lawyers Slater and Gordon, one in ten of 2000 people questioned feel they are stuck in such marriages.

Men blamed frustrations with their sex life, and women declared they had ‘too little fun’ and ‘too much worry over money’. The research also showed that one third of the women studied had considered ending their marriage.

Reasons for not separating range from not having the courage to split to not being able to cope financially. And one in four married parents admitted they sometimes feel they only stay together for the sake of the children.

‘So, what’s new?’ Were the words that came to mind when I read that research. I don’t know if that’s a normal response to these revelations, but as a British-Asian who grew up surrounded by the Indian community, it’s my response all the same.

Growing up I only knew a handful of people who had so-called ‘love marriages’. All the other marriages of the Asian people we associated with were arranged.

Of these, I saw couples where love had blossomed after marriage; those who had a mutual respect and understanding for each other, and those who hated each other but would never contemplate divorce.

I went down the love marriage route and have been happily married for six years. However, one thing I’ve learnt is that whether it’s love or arranged, the effort that you have to put into a marriage is exactly the same.

Marriage can be a beautiful thing but it’s something that has to be worked on and nurtured, and it’s never perfect because no one is perfect.

I’m not saying people should stay together however unhappy they are. But before making that final decision I think every effort should be made to fix a broken marriage. Sometimes the cracks will be too deep to repair, but it’s worth trying and I’ve seen it work.

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Tags British, divorce, asian, rena dipti annobil, study, Loveless marriage, arranged marriage, forced marriage, Slater and Gordon, report
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